Words

words. language. what an interesting concept. that someone out there created something called an alphabet... full of things called letters.... which in turn gives us the opportunity to build words and form sentences... and that these words are all for the sake of expressing ourselves... sharing something... a statement... a feeling.

but even somedays... words cannot suffice.

today it hit me that i was leaving my job. today, my little bully of an 8 year old client, cried for me. he felt sadness as I shared the news that I, his TBS Coach, was closing his case. a massive wave of raw emotion hit him as he quietly let tears slide down his face onto his mother's shoulder. he had no words. he looked at me with tear streaked cheeks saying "Am I never going to see you again?"

i had no words. all that could come out of my closed up throat was "maybe someday". i smiled weakly at him in awe that this little rough and tough boy, who almost angrily punched me in the face, who would yell at me day in day out, "i dont care about you! i dont want you to come back!" was now genuinely making my heart ache with love for him. genuinely reminding me how much it sucks to say goodbye.

I mourn these moments, and I am grateful for these moments. For God revealing Himself through transition, through challenge, through pain, through anything we allow Him into.

Working at TBS- with the broken yet willing families of San Diego- has left me in awe...and with no words.

I will miss working for Mental Health Systems TBS Program. I will miss my goofy, crazy, fun loving coworkers who let me eat their leftovers. I will miss receiving therapy sessions from my boss (seriously tho. who gets that lucky) . I will miss all the love.